I started off writing this post with the intention of highlighting some cute outdoor accessories (ie lawn ornaments) for your backyard and/or balcony. Now I approached this task fully accepting two truths, Number One: the term lawn ornament is in itself hilarious and Number Two: It was very likely I would stumble upon some really terrible items that make absolutely no sense and may even cause me to question humanity as a whole.
Needless to say my research did not disappoint and my theory on both points was fully supported. The items people choose to decorate their outdoor space with are so perplexing and the options so far reaching, I quickly realized a blanket search would not even cover a small fraction of the current inventory of crap you can throw in your yard (haha). Thus I decided to limit my search to one specific category the lawn ornament classic: the Garden Gnome. I had no doubt this one particular subgenre would provide hours of entertainment and more than enough material to satisfy my goal. It did not disappoint.
Take for example, Gottfied the Gigantic Garden Gnome pictured above. Does anyone really need a garden gnome statue the size of a small child…? I sat with this question for quite some time, my mind puzzled by what I was seeing. That is when it hit me. Are lawn ornaments actually just a giant joke we play on our friends and neighbors? Do we put random stuff outside just to see what kind of reaction we can muster from unsuspecting visitors? Have I been missing the punch line all these years? Is a gnome taking a selfie while holding a squirrel (pictured here) the most accurate yet subversive critique of our current culture that I have ever witnessed? I am still not sure.
However, as I ponder all of these deep life questions, I can say this for certain: the other two gnomes pictured above (excluding poor Gottfried, bless his heart) are pretty darn cute (the little cement guy is supposed to sit in a potted plant… I die!) and whether they are funny or social satire or simply decorative objects, both would have a welcome home on my balcony!
Leave a Reply